apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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