Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize