i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
