dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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