dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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