I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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