Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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