I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
this will be a night to untag.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
