You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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