is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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