Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
