Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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