I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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