But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
