So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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