Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
