Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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