Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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