In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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