at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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