everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
operation have a gay friend backfired
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
