I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
