Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
