windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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