I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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