I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
