2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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