I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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