YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
