So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
