Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
