it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
