I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
