Me too!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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