I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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