He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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