Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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