Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
