YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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