i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
