She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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