Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
