whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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