he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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