babies were throwing up all over the place
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
