Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Randomize
