ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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