Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
