Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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