Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
