I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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