She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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