You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize