I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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