we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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