He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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