And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
