i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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