I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
