OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
