1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
