david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
